Please, No Salt On My Fish

While originality is all good and fun, I must oft remind myself that unpredictability does not equate to complete and utter chaos. While somewhat related facts strung together in an unpredicatble manner is often funny, it's not quite so funny to throw in some random facts along the way, breaking the chain.

Monkey.

It is quite often the situation when a desperate internet user will cast around randomly for some sort of thing that they might find funny, and write about it in the most haphazard and eratic way possible. I, for one, am quite tired of it. Just like the internet learned Poop Jokes and Your Mom jokes aren't funny anymore, it must also learn that random humor is rarely funny.

Diarrhea.

Internet, when you brandish your fictional character, so lovingly named Poops McFart Butt, it's really not that funny. It's even less funny when he has a biography that was apparently written by a dyslexic 6 year old who had a few more caffeine tablets than is the suggested dosage for your average full grown elephant.

While pouring buckets of live morray eels down his pants.

It's really, not that funny.

Music!

Random note, but I noticed not too long ago that the New Boyz refer to Jim Crow laws in their You're A Jerk song. Last place I would expect to ever use 8th grade history.

Yo', who was that?

Oh, he's just a friend.

So yeah. Summer! Yet, it feels like winter, in both the fact that it's been damn cold out, and that it feels just like a long ass weekend.

Don't give me that! Don't even give me that!

You! You've got what I need!

I begin with practice; unbearable torture that inevitably leads to a wonderful season that I always look back on and think "Hey! That wasn't so bad," yet I find myself wishing death upon my oppressors during the summer heat (Or rather, this strange fog?)

You say he's just a friend, you say he's just a friend

Oh baby, you've got what I neeeeeddd,

Plans? No plans, other than to go places and do things. If you call that a plan, then you would best stay out of any kind of management position, my friend.

But you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend.

Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend has a friend has a friend

Hmm. Perspective! Why must we draw an oval when we know it is really a circle? Why must we draw a rectangle when it truly is a square? Perspective is tricky, both physically and mentally. Physically, a miscalculation in perception could result in a stubbed toe, a poke to the eye, or a loss of mental stability. Mentally, it causes us to hate others, to dispute, and to destroy what we do not understand.

Yet, without it, we are no longer individuals, but a single uniform entity, as perspective is what keeps us unique. Take it away, and we have a perfect society, but we lack what makes us human, making it not a truly human society.

Respect. It is the key to perspective.

Word Play.

Sexual innuendo used to be funny until commedians started to shove it down my throat.