This time, with feeling.

There are great writers, and there are great speakers. I find myself in the latter group, with all efforts to remain modest. As ever, I've always had a knack for articulating my thoughts better through the use of a written language than orally. I often look back at myself in the past, and kick myself for being crude, pointless, or even flat out wrong when attempting to speak, but in words, I can rally the ideas into some sort of organizable rank and file, and march them through my finger tips and into the computer, as opposed to a forced, and very inefficient advance through speech.

So I must say this. Why did I do it? For many reasons. One of the simplest reason is that I didn't feel the same for her as I used to. Simply put, I lost the feel. This is an often enough occurrence between couples, and I find myself no exception to this saddening phenomena. However, several factors affected this, and I still feel that the entire blame for this situation falls on me, and me alone.

Then, there was the distance. On both sides of the relationship, we found ourselves drifting apart, causing her to be more insecure, and myself, hurt. I knew she was sad, due to conversations I would have with her, and conversations she would have with my friends. I knew she was sad, and I couldn't do much about it, other than rework my entire schedule, which is something I just can't commit to. Therefore, I knew she would have to live while being sad, insecure, and afraid of the moment when I would break up with her. This, inturn, made me feel extremely guilty, as well as sad. The weight that this bore upon me was enormous, and well, I might have panicked a little bit.

Granted, I still think I made the right choice, but I did it without thinking it all the way through first. If I had thought it through... well, the end result would have been the same, just much delayed.

There were other reasons, but explaining all the little ones would seem trivial to those who do not understand the mechanics of how I think.

To summarize how I felt for that entire week before, I present one song that summed up all my emotions.

Enjoy.