Beliefs

I have never had a cause in life. I want to believe in something, but its quite hard to at most times. I would like to believe in a supreme God and join a religion, but I'd prefer a half hour talk with him before committing myself, to clear up a few points, such as the entire issue of "crush the heathens" and "smiting" and what not. Not that I have a problem with smiting, but it seems that people these days take it to seriously.

Then I tried to be an Atheist, but I don't have the type of strength of disbelief even for that. Also, I find the lack of something to blame disturbing. It takes a really strong atheist to say "Damn the supernatural entity of an outdated system of beliefs that doesn't apply to my life."

Then I tried believing in science, but thats pretty damn hard as well. The Universe, for example. All the words like "Chaos" and "Time" and "Quantum" that are thrown around as casually as we use "Book" or "Think" or "I." I've even found people whose job was to think about the Universe, and didn't even believe in it, and constantly doubted its existense with aformentioned words. They seemed quite proud of the fact that they don't know what it really is, or even if it exists.

I am, however, quite prepared to believe that my iPod seems to want to avoid me.